Marcus Aurelius reminded to himself:
Never value anything as profitable to thyself which shall compel thee to break thy promise, to lose thy self-respect, to hate any man, to suspect, to curse, to act the hypocrite, to desire anything which needs walls and curtains: for he who has preferred to everything intelligence and daemon and the worship of its excellence, acts no tragic part, does not groan, will not need either solitude or much company; and, what is chief of all, he will live without either pursuing or flying from death; but whether for a longer or a shorter time he shall have the soul inclosed in the body, he cares not at all: for even if he must depart immediately, he will go as readily as if he were going to do anything else which can be done with decency and order; taking care of this only all through life, that his thoughts turn not away from anything which belongs to an intelligent animal and a member of a civil community.
It’s a strong reminder on the way we value things, how we look at life, and how we should place ourselves to standard of resilience & integrity.
For so long in my life, I have been in pursuit of certain things, some physical and some beyond that. I always wanted things, and these things are usually what I cannot have or things others have.
I would go to certain lengths to get these things, and sometimes even to the detriment of others.
A strong memory was from my childhood, my bestfriend just so happened to own a trading card that I wanted, so I took it. I justified the theft with statements like: “This card is clearly for me” or “He never really wanted this”. Later on I would get caught and trying to explain why I took the card, had me feeling so many emotions, but the greatest of them was shame.
Sometime later in life, I met a girl, I became infatuated and I would feel anger towards her, when my feelings were not reciprocated. I felt entitled to her person, I believed that she belonged to me, and I justified this belief I would make a great boyfriend to her personally. When she chose someone else over me, I questioned my person, was I not enough? Only years later would I realize that this was not the right question to ask.
I could go through a lot more examples, but we go through each day with side quests that isn’t directly related to our life goals, but contribute experiences that shape our entire character. And these experiences can either be interpreted in so many ways. We could be binary, and see them as positive or negative, or we could see them the way Stoics see them: as they are.
It may be a difficult to grasp, but the world is indifferent, that the meaning and value of things are arbitrary. The card was only cardboard with a picture I personally relate to. At this point, I have multiple copies of the card gathering dust in a binder under my bed. The girl is just one of the many persons that I would fall for and break my heart, and after so many, I still ended up with the one person who I cherish more than all of them combined.
Things only matter when we make them matter, so when something makes you do wrong, or be a person you don’t want to be, is it really something you should give value?
The trading card made me thief and a liar, the girl made me self-absorbed and entitled. And a stoic only strives to be their best self, and for me my best self does not steal or lie, does not pretend to be someone I’m not, to be controlling, to be jealous and envious.
Marcus simply means that we should always take things as they are, which is indifferent. All my possessions will break and decay, my love ones die, and me and my accomplishments forgotten. In one hundred years, I will just be a name a descendant will mention in passing, and a hundred years after that I will be completely nothing.
So in this time I am alive, be the best person I can be, and never let anything place me in a position that compromises this mission.
The featured image of this blog is by Jessica Favaro on Unsplash
Aga Aquino 
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